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Belinda Phillips | Our Limited Survival Problem Solving Tools Cause Us to Self-Sabotage What We Want the Most
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Our Limited Survival Problem Solving Tools Cause Us to Self-Sabotage What We Want the Most

Our Limited Survival Problem Solving Tools Cause Us to Self-Sabotage What We Want the Most

Over the years, I have noticed that most people self-sabotage what they want the most and can’t figure out why.  I am not immune from this phenomenon. I have done the same thing…for years.  

This is an example of how I’ve self-sabotaged what I really want.  I used to say I was born at the wrong time. I envied times when quilting bees were the norm.  I wanted to be part of a group of people getting together in a sacred space creating something beautiful while laughing and sharing stories.  I’ve always wanted to be part of a partnership or community where we were working together for a common cause. One day, I was struck with the fact that I have been going solo for much of my life.

I decided to look at that situation and I discovered that my limited problem solving skills had self-sabotaged what I wanted the most.  This is what I discovered. I had experienced a series of relationships in which I felt judged, going back to childhood. Maybe I was being judged or maybe I just perceived it that way.  In either event, I didn’t like how it felt. It made me question myself, my decisions, and even my reality.  

Since being judged took me down that slippery slope, my limited problem solving skills came up with the following solution to that problem.  Don’t let anyone get too close to me and that way I won’t be judged. Stay small, keep my thoughts and opinions to myself and that way I won’t be judged.  Focus on the other person to divert their attention away from me and that way I won’t be judged.  

These limited problem solving skills come from a survival perspective.  That’s generally how we solve our problems. At the core, we have a fear of judgment because judgment feels unsafe.  It’s not rational to feel this way but because we are hardwired for survival, that’s what we do. In order to feel safe, I kept other people at bay.

Once I discovered how I self-sabotaged this yearning I had for connection and collaboration, I realized I was only halfway there.  What could I do with this newfound knowledge and what could I do with the trauma from past judgment I was carrying? 

I know from experience that no amount of talking or thinking will address this trauma or stop me from using these limited problem solving tools and self-sabotaging.  It requires some form of energy psychology method. Energy psychology is just what it sounds like – using an energy healing modality to change old outdated beliefs that result in self-sabotage.  

There are many different effective energy psychology methods.  I have explored many of them and have used a variety of these methods with success.  One of the most effective methods I have explored is ThetaHealing and it’s the method I have used in my own life and with my clients for years.  It’s also easy to learn, which makes it accessible for everyone. I refer to these tools as divinely guided tools.  They address the root cause of our self-sabotage, change the underlying beliefs with energy work, and allow for a clearer more bird’s eye view perspective of what’s really going on.

Once I used these tools, I noticed that I felt more comfortable letting people in.  It was a huge relief to me. Over a short period of time, I began collaborating with several people I have always admired and respected.  I felt loved and supported as we worked together, learned from each other, and most importantly respected each other. This couldn’t have happened without using these newly discovered tools.

For me, this is nothing short of a miracle.  I have witnessed many miracles like this in my own life and in the lives of people I work with.  It’s a huge paradigm shift for me to recognize that my old tools only took me so far, but one I am glad I made.  I am sharing my experiences in the hopes that seeds are planted for other people to take a risk and explore this paradigm shift for themselves.

If you’re interested in learning more, feel free to reach out to me at belinda@belindaphillips.com or through my website belindaphillips.com.