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Belinda Phillips | In the Middle of a Storm
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In the Middle of a Storm

In the Middle of a Storm

IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM

Have you ever felt so triggered by a situation that you feel like you’re in the middle of a storm and can’t sort through it until the storm passes? Everyone has their triggering circumstances. What’s yours?

Mine involves my kids.  When it comes to my kids, my mama bear instinct comes out. If I have ordered medication for my daughter and there’s a glitch in the system causing the medication to not arrive on time even if we have plenty on hand or my daughter calls me with her own triggering situation, my body goes into full blown fight-or-flight response. I lose my perspective, I can’t think straight, I say attacking and rude things I don’t normally say, and I scream and yell without regard to who might hear me. When it’s happening, I can’t stop it. Sometimes, in the moment I am able to observe that I have become “Miss Crazy Pants” and other times, I am not even aware that I am acting that way until after the fact. I know it’s pointless to try to make any kind of rational decision or do anything different until the stress chemicals that are pulsing through my body calm down.

Once I am able to calm down, I can see and understand what happened to cause me to react that way. In most circumstances, I recognize that the situation did not warrant the fight-or-flight response because it wasn’t really a dangerous situation. I’m able to see that old beliefs or past traumas are causing my body to perceive the situation as dangerous for me or my kids, even when it isn’t.

When this happens, I acknowledge that my reaction was understandable under the circumstances and then work through the situation using an energy psychology method called ThetaHealing® to address the subconscious beliefs and trauma that are running the show. Energy psychology means using energy work to change beliefs. If I don’t deal with the underlying cause, I know that I will become Miss Crazy Pants the next time a similar situation arises. I then come up with a plan to create new habits by thinking differently and acting differently, which I am able to do once the underlying beliefs and traumas have been resolved.

There have been times when a triggering situation has occurred over and over for an extended period of time and the fight-or-flight response has not had an opportunity to calm down. This might happen in a job situation or with a significant relationship. In those situations, I may have gotten a little relief when there’s been a temporary respite from that situation, although just the thought of it would throw me into a tizzy. When I actually had to be involved in that situation again, I was thrown into full blown fight-or-flight and was in the eye of the storm, without any impetus to cause that to happen.

In those situations, as much as I tried to wait for the storm to calm down, it never did and I became a stressed-out mess. No amount of thinking, talking or trying to do things differently would help. And the longer I stayed in it, the more my stress level increased. Everything felt dangerous at that point and my ability to access any kind of relief or healing was not possible.

What I learned from these experiences is that I had to permanently remove myself from these situations so that my fight-or-flight response would have a chance to calm down and I could begin the process that I knew would help me to heal.

No matter what the circumstances, whether it was a brief encounter with a triggering situation or a long standing traumatic situation, I have learned to be incredibly kind to myself. I know that my reaction is the result of subconscious programs, trauma held in cellular memory and me trying to use survival-based tools to problem solve. I honor the fact that I am human and will make mistakes and I do my very best to find the meaning in what I am experiencing. And above all, I know that the process that will help me to heal will involve energy psychology.

My daughter recently went through one of these long-term triggering situations that began in grad school and continued through her career as a teacher. As much as we tried to work through her high alert stress and anxiety while she remained at her job, it was not possible. She worked as a special education teacher and was so committed to her students and doing what was best for them. It was the most difficult decision she has ever made when she decided recently that the stress she was dealing with was too much and she needed to do something different. She is sharing her healing journey at https://alyssaphillips.blog/ and https://www.instagram.com/stressgirlnomore/ if you want to follow along.

If you have questions, want to know more about my process toward healing, or have specific circumstances about your particular circumstances, shoot me an email at belinda@belindaphillips.com and I’d be happy to share.

With much love,
Belinda