Belinda Phillips | When Did These Become Options?

When Did These Become Options?

When Did These Become Options?

In the wake of two recent celebrity suicides, so many thoughts and emotions are coming up for many of us.  What’s missing?  People who seemingly have everything – families, money, fame, and access to whatever life has to offer – comforts, experiences and even professional help.

My heart goes out to these beautiful souls who felt like there was no other way.

As the survivor of a family suicide, my heart breaks for the families that have been left behind who are shocked, devastated, guilt-ridden, scared, heart-broken and more.

I have noticed there’s a part of me that wonders when this became an option?  Should I continue to work through my challenges myself, should I seek out help, or should I commit suicide?

When my dad committed suicide 16 years ago, it was a shock.  He was always the strong one, the fixer, the protector.  After losing his vision and then losing his money in the stock market, he lost his will to live.  I knew he was depressed but I never thought he would go down into the basement and hang himself.  I didn’t know that was an option.

As I sit here in quiet contemplation, I wonder what happens to someone when this becomes your best option.  I wonder about the pain the person is feeling and how it appears that they don’t care what their actions will do to the people who love them and count on them. Intellectually, I know they are in such a dark place that they aren’t thinking about that at the time.

I have been thinking lately about the actions that are considered options these days.

My children’s dad abandoned them and me. Our youngest daughter has significant health challenges and special needs.  I often wonder, when did it become an option to walk away from your family?

And when did it become an option to walk into a school and shoot up your classmates?

When did it become an option to torture and kill other human beings?  Or animals?

When did it become an option to only care about yourself and to disregard the feelings of others?

When did it became an option to care more about money than harming someone or something?

I see posts everywhere telling people to ask for help if they are feeling that suicide is option and urging people to get help for the people they know who are feeling this way.  I feel that we as a community, as a world, need to understand the root cause of these option.

Is it lack of connection with other people?

Is hopelessness and powerlessness taking over?

Is it a lack of connection or relationship with God?

I don’t want to believe that our world has to be this way.

I hold onto the hope that we can create a world where these are no longer options.

A world where it’s no longer necessary to hold onto old fears in order to be safe.

A world where we see the world through a lens of possibilities, where we love and respect each other, where we extend a helping hand whenever possible, where we work together to create a world where it’s no longer an option to kill yourself or someone else and that we can get on with the business of loving each other and loving life.

I love you,


P.S. John Lennon expressed it best …

“Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace, you

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world, you

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one”

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